Thursday of the Thirty-first Week in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 488

I tell you, in just the same way

there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents
than over ninety-nine righteous people
who have no need of repentance.

I hear irony in Jesus’s statement: how can 99 people not need to repent?

When asked to counsel a spouse or adult child of an alcoholic, I sometimes suggest that we dismiss the issue of whether the offending person is alcoholic. Regardless of the reason for the behavior, the real question is, “How should you respond to this person’s abusive attitudes, language and behavior?”

It doesn’t matter why this person acts as he does; what matters is your response. Will you stay with him or leave? Will you sleep with him or somewhere else? Will you continue to do his laundry and set his table with food? Will you set up a bank account and prepare for the separation that seems inevitable? Will you create a support system for yourself or join a program like Alanon? How will you protect yourself within this dangerous relationship?

The abusive alcoholic, like the mythical ninety-nine, has no need to change. Nothing compels them to see their behavior as anything less than acceptable.  As painful as this situation is, the offenders have anaesthetized themselves against it.

However, should the situation change – by your refusal to prepare his meals, for instance – he might be compelled to reexamine his attitudes and their source. Or he might not. But there will be joy in heaven if you repent of your enabling behavior.

As we turn and turn daily to the Lord, the angels rejoice. As we courageously address the problems that we have been too willing to live with or ignore, there is joy in heaven for miracles of grace.